The most underrated feature of this game is /squelch. I do it to Van all of the time. I'm personally tired of engaging in such arguments. That was one of the reasons BS left for sure. I recall some of the chats I've seen. He was pretty brutal. You can't control what people say but what you can control is how you handle it. Argue and get mad at the people/game or you can avoid it and play with people you can play with. The more you play, the better you get and the more people you meet.
Everyone doesn't need to be friends. It would be nice, but I've never seen or heard of a game where that is the situation. Ours is unique in terms of the smaller community, I get that. I'll go back to what I've said for years and years. Host your own games. Be in control of you. Everyone doesn't need to play in every game hosted or with the top players. I get obs'd when the top people are playing sometimes, and I accept it.
The biggest reason for shit talking is competition due to skill gaps. Relate this to life. If you are the worst worker at a job, you are probably going to get fired. If you are the worst player for a sports team, you will get dropped. If you are a bad bf/gf, you will get dumped, if you are a terrible student in a school project group, people will dislike you and not want to be with you again. This is life people and all of these examples are relative. I've seen noob games where people do the same as the higher skilled games.
If you are the "worst", don't take it personally. This is based on skill, not necessarily who you are as a person. (Everything I say is a generalization) If you suck and people give you shit, be in control of you. You can say things like, I'm sorry man, I'm really trying. What could I have done better? I've said that to someone before who was very mean to me and that stopped it believe it or not.
Let's translate this to real life, put 50 people together in a room/community/whatever. Do they all get along? Put 20 people together, do they all get along? This is life people, not Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood. Handle this like you would handle life.
I'm 100% for the effort of inclusion but I do still want to play my competitive games, or I wouldn't play. That is for many other people as well.